fic: and i let her steer. stacey/charlotte. the babysitter's club.

[marginalia]

title: and i let her steer
archive: .: marginalia :.
disclaimer: i own nothing.
notes: for the babysitter's club ficathon. no, really. goovie requested stacey/charlotte, charlotte at college in new york. i really am sorry this is so late. thanks tostarfishchick and dorrie6 for the beta, and bigbig love to starfishchick for the research. f'real. title from "the day i let glory steer", because. yes.



The first time Stacey saw Charlotte in New York, she was sitting in the window of a coffee shop, head propped on her left hand, fingers in her hair, pen cap between her teeth, a stained apron on the counter next to an open book.

Stacey was in a hurry, because Stacey was always in a hurry, and only after, clinging to a pole and falling into the rhythm of the train did she take out the mental picture and examine it again. And she thought, hey. She looks a lot like Charlotte would now. Then she thought about what to have for dinner and if there was anything good on television tonight and how soon it would be until she could take off her bra.

::

Weeks later, between mindlessly refreshing message boards, she thought to look up Charlotte. Stacey typed her name into Google - both with and without quotation marks - but for the most part only found poorly spelled fansites for that one girl from Ghost World.

Well. Perhaps you couldn't find everything on the Internet.

Of course, it was entirely possible that Charlotte was using a different name. She would be in college now, almost finished. Stacey had called herself "Ana" for nearly her entire senior year, until she discovered that her name was not a secret formula that would result in her personal definition. Life was never that simple, letters tumbling through equations to solve the riddles of who you really were.

Emails from Kristy were always signed "Kris" now. A new variable. Stacey was Stacey. Charlotte could be anything.

Stacey sighed, scrolling backwards through the results, a cooling cup of tea pressed to her temple. Perhaps the girl hadn't been Charlotte anyway. She told herself that she wasn’t disappointed. She almost believed it.

::

The second time Stacey saw her Charlotte was dancing between the shadows and around the beat, hands ghosting across the hips of the girl in glitter and dark braids. Stacey almost stepped forward, but when Charlotte kissed the girl lightly and slipped towards the bar, Stacey decided it had been a trick of the light.

::

But the third time Stacey saw Charlotte was on a warm weekend afternoon, looking through the one-dollar carts at the Strand, and she didn't have time to wonder or doubt before Charlotte looked up from a 1950s etiquette book and suddenly they were both talking at once, full of How have you been and I can't believe it's you and What are you reading these days?

"We should catch up. Get coffee sometime," Stacey suggested. Brunch, they decided, brunch next Sunday at some tiny place Charlotte knew, some place with a fabulous vegetarian menu. Stacey said that sounded good, even though she wasn’t Dawn.

"I know exactly who you are," Charlotte said, and something in her eyes tugged at Stacey, sharp for a moment. "Your number!" she added in quite a different voice. "Just in case." She pulled out a ragged address book. "PDAs scare me," she said, and tucked the loose strands of hair back behind her ear. Details exchanged, Charlotte hugged her fiercely.

"Til Sunday!" Stacey said.

Charlotte smiled, dimples flashing. "It's a date."

::

The fourth time Stacey saw Charlotte she was unaccountably nervous. It had been years. What if she had changed too much? What if she hadn't changed enough? What if they had nothing to say to each other? What if Charlotte didn't even show up? Fear and hope waged a brief tug-of-war.

She arrived at the restaurant to find Charlotte already there, skimming the headlines at the newsstand next door, the childhood reading addiction clearly not outgrown. "You're just in time!" Charlotte took her arm and led her inside.

Then, in spite of Stacey's nervousness and perhaps because of Charlotte's knocking over the water glass, it was perfect. They told happy stories of people they missed and snarky stories of people they didn't, teased out Stacey's discontentment with her job and plotted out Charlotte's projects for the end of the semester, and discovered a disturbing number of near-miss meetings.

In the end, after Stacey had slyly picked up the check and they had both ensured they each had the other's email address and sworn to use them, Charlotte held Stacey tight and whispered low, "I think that's half the reason I came to school in New York, to look for you."

Stacey's head spun, dizzy on the afternoon and the words and scent of Charlotte's hair. Charlotte was tall now, and it made all the difference in the world when she pulled back from the embrace and leaned down to kiss Stacey, soft like the girls at that festival so long ago, all Earl Grey and honey.

"Because," as she said after, "I knew you wouldn't dare."

Comments

[meganberrieh.livejournal.com]

Ooh! Ooh! Pretty! Shiny! Happy!

We likes it very much, precious. :D

Seriously--it's beautiful.

[marginalia.livejournal.com]

yay! thank you :)

[goovie.livejournal.com]

*squee*

i knew you'd write something gorgeous and poetic and just perfect.

*loves, worships, adores*

[marginalia.livejournal.com]

*collapses with relief*

[starfishchick]

Dude. Research. If you saw the big stupid box at my parents' house labeled 'Steph's Embarassing Books'. :)

I told you she'd love it.

[marginalia.livejournal.com]

dude. i could not have done it without your help *loves*

[belovedsnail.livejournal.com]

oh man, the Babysitter's Club. i had to think for a moment about who Charlotte was, but then i remembered. i wonder if Barnes and Noble has the books. i feel like sitting down and reading one now. and they all had the exact same second chapter that described the club members? and she never used contractions?

needless to say, you're a better writer than Ann M. Martin.

this is really lovely, and i'm just happy because i love it when people write New York City in a way that i recognize it (the dollar book carts at the strand!! the dorm i lived in last year was about a block away from the strand.) so reading this, i feel like this is actually happening, somewhere, like i could walk by a coffee shop and Stacey and Charlotte would be sitting there. does that sound crazy? i think so.

the details about this are amazing, as usual---badly spelled Ghost World fansites, the 50's etiquette book. also, "the day i let glory steer" is a really stellar title for a song, i think.

[marginalia.livejournal.com]

the thing is, i fully intended to reread one before i wrote this and then . .i never did. i abuse barnes & noble enough as it is, though. hee!

and i have to say, this is just the best feedback ever because *whispers* i've never been to new york. so that it felt real in spite of that? i am all a-squee. i was very nervous about writing the city. so. yes.

it's also a really stellar song :)

thank you!

[fox1013.livejournal.com]

Eeeeeeeeee!

*loves*

[marginalia.livejournal.com]

yay! thank you!

(and i haven't had time to read -any- fic, which is why i haven't commented yet :) )

[anotheryourself.livejournal.com]

yum wow! yay!

[marginalia.livejournal.com]

hee! thank you :D

[hobbledehoy.livejournal.com]

::bites lip and tries not to cry::

[marginalia.livejournal.com]

*cuddles*

[hobbledehoy.livejournal.com]

cubbie told so many people about this fic while we were in florida, it was insane.

[marginalia.livejournal.com]

really? *blush*

[hobbledehoy.livejournal.com]

yep. cubbie likes the lost in translation bit and told lotsa people about it. because we've discussed how the names are tricksy familiar.

[jenish.livejournal.com]

*sparkles* *adores*

Ooooh, I've missed Charlotte, I have always loved and been moved by the bond between her and Stacey. And you've written it so wonderfully.

*yearns to read the books again*

[marginalia.livejournal.com]

aw, thank you!

i wanted to read more before i wrote this, but the library i went to didn't have ANY! *horror*

[jenish.livejournal.com]

*shock*

Forwhy?!!

Our libraries usually only have the ones I *already* have. *facepalm*

[rhipowered.livejournal.com]

Fantastic. The collegiate atmosphere and being young and on one's own really shows through.

By the way, I read your fic 'Missives' before and really liked it.

[marginalia.livejournal.com]

thank you! (it's always such a treat to find that people are still reading these older stories)

[rhi-silverflame.livejournal.com]

Stumbled across this on a recommendation by biichan, on my first night of forays into BSC fic -- and what a lovely start it is. This is a gorgeous piece of work, and you manage to pack so many morsels of detail into a crisp, compact, tightly-paced story. The writing style is very evocative of Manhattan, both in wording and cadence; the emotional payoff at the end is right on target.

Beautiful, beautiful work. Thank you.

[marginalia.livejournal.com]

thank you so much! and thank you for telling me how you got here - especially when it's been a while since i've posted a story i wonder how people find me :)

[leather-wings.livejournal.com]

I never read enough of those books to know who Charlotte was, but this was lovely. :)

[marginalia.livejournal.com]

i had to research charlotte myself when i got the assignment. thanks ;)

[shinyredtype.livejournal.com]

I am reading all of the BSC fic that goovie has in her memories, and Jaci, this one is so pretty! I love how you tell your stories.

"I know exactly who you are," Charlotte said, and something in her eyes tugged at Stacey, sharp for a moment.

*sigh*

[marginalia.livejournal.com]

i am apparently playing catch up today :) thank you so much!

[strangedoll.livejournal.com]

"Because," as she said after, "I knew you wouldn't dare."

perfect!

[marginalia.livejournal.com]

thank you!